To Spank or Not to Spank Only You Can Say.

Spanking children is a sensitive issue with most parents. Because different people have different beliefs about this topic. Many say it is a personal or family issue and I believe that to be true.

What I am not going to do is give you my opinion on this issue. However, what I will attempt to do is help you get to the core of what you truly feel as an individual. Then using that information to parent your children, instead of going to an external source for guidance. You will be accessing and using your authority within.

As humans we have a tendency to validate our beliefs or behavior about an issue that is important to us with an external source. What I mean is we use sources outside of ourselves to dictate what we believe and how we behave. Some of these sources are psychologist, doctors, parents, religion, government or the bible.

Some say, I was spanked as a child and look at how I turned out, and others say, the bible says, spare the rod and spoil the child. Whenever we go outside of ourselves, we make that reference point our source or authority.

The problem with only using an external source for guidance is that it's not our most accurate form of guidance and we end up behaving in ways that is not congruent with our spirit.

Let me give you a personal example. Whenever I spanked my son, I would feel like my mother use to say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you". And she was right, because every time I spanked my son it hurted me deeply. In an effort to not to manage the guilt and pain I felt I would justify my behavior by saying the bible says it's Ok. (I am not talking about beating my child here. I am just talking about a smack in the back of the head for not listening.)

Then one day I asked myself, "If spanking my son was so right, because the bible said it was, than why did it feel so wrong?" I soon realized the problem. I was ignoring what my feelings (inner quidance) were trying to tell me. They were saying that my behavior was not a match with who I am and what I want to accomplish with my son.

Our feelings is the most accurate, effective and direct way the universe communicates with us. In short, feelings is the language of spirit and whenever I do something that is not a match with my spirit (source, authority) I experience negative emotions. And whenever I do something that is a match with my spirit, like praising and uplifting my child, I experience positive emotions. This is a confirmation that my behavior is a match with my spirit.

I believe the only thing that is perfect in all of the Universe is our feelings. That is why only our feelings can validate what is true to us, individually.

If we learn how to listen and validate our feelings, we can create a life of prosperity and bliss. When I say prosperity, I don't just mean a life of monetary abundance as much as I mean a life rich in harmonious relationships. In fact, I believe that life and relationships are synonymous. When you really look at it, the quality of our lives is a direct reflection of the relationships we have with ourselves and others, particularly our children.

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